Peak 8 – Aisa: Everest (Nepal)
Finish What I Started!
I must confess that when I left Everest south side in May, the furthest thing from my mind was going back. People commented that I should go back and try again but I silently told myself “No, I am not!”. But as I started to feel better and could eat and keep food down again, I heard my teammates commenting on how they couldn’t stop thinking about the Everest. Now I was thinking about Everest again. For those who don’t know, they too hadn’t been able to summit.
I had been having this nagging thought since the moment I packed my duffle bags at basecamp to come home. I had set out to climb the 7 summits, actually 8 summits since I was doing both “versions” of them, and a part of me felt incomplete having failed my first attempt at Everest.
Rationally, I knew coming home at the time was the right decision. Heck, shit happened! For real (see my article about that here). Now it was time to put that attempt behind me, and consider plan B even though I didn’t have a plan B. I didn’t want to give up because of one mountain, even if it is the toughest one, the last one.
I reflected on what I tell my grandchildren all the time – always try to do your best at everything. This means giving 100% of what you have, at any given time and even if you don’t win (summit), it’s ok. But one can try again. One can persevere.
So now I am going back. I need to finish what I started. I want to persevere and try again!
Looking back, I see that each mountain has taught me something. Each has influenced my future, regardless of what I had set out to do initially.
Carstensz Pyramid taught me, with the help of my friend Emmanuel, that I could breathe through my fear of heights and that I could walk on a rope by repeating to myself “duck feet”. I also learned that I could sleep in a tent! Those that know me well, know this was an important lesson and as much of a challenge as climbing itself!
Kilimanjaro reminded me why I founded Peaks for Change. It reminded me how important mental health is, and that I had a personal journey ahead of me.
Elbrus taught me that winds high in the mountains can get pretty dicey! But it also taught me that climbing mountains were as much to raise awareness for mental health and Peaks for Change as they were for my own journey. It reminded me that I needed to listen to my heart so I could start to heal and find a way to live on my terms.
Vinson Massif in Antarctic is where I left part of my heart. I learned to embrace the cold, believe in Gods’ miracles and the beauty he provides us in this World. I learned the wonder and healing power of silence and that healing was something God could provide me if I believed in him. If I believed in myself.
Aconcagua taught me that climbing tall mountains is hard, and that there are a lot of rocks! But I also learned God answers prayers and does not abandon you.
Denali, what can I say? I was scared to my core about Denali, however thanks to amazing guides, whom were all believers, we not only summited in 12 days, but we had clear skies on our summit day. We were able to enjoy the summit for about 20 minutes – alone!
Kosciusko…well I learned that hills are also considered mountains.
Everest 2021, as we know, I got incredibly sick. I was also emotionally unwell. A friend told me when I came back that perhaps I was never supposed to summit this year. That the mountain I needed to climb was my personal struggles. I needed to regain my self-respect and confidence. It was a hefty price to pay, both emotional and monetarily, but in reality, how much is our self-respect and confidence worth? How much is our mental health worth? Priceless if you ask me.
So, now I am ready to try again. I am back to training, and preparing for Everest 2022, North Side, Rapid Ascent.
Let’s go do this!
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